Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
