No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
