Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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