I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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