Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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