you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
