Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
