Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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