Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i've created a new STD.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize