we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
