And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize