So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
