I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
