After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
