help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
