So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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