Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
