That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You made out with two different species that night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
