Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
