8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
