Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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