I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
