she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
