How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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