the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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