I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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