When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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