Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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