hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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