sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
