you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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