I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
