i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
