Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
