When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
