maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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