dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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