I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please don't give away my fajitas