You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
