do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it because I queefed?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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