I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
