Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
