uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
