it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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