I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
