Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
