i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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