Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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