am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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