help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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