I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
