We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
