I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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