do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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