This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
