It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
