I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
