just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
