fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
