He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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