Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
