So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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